While getting ready for Mother’s Day, I had a conversation with one of the most amazing moms I know. She expressed embarrassment at celebrating how amazing she is. Listen, I am all about lifting people up, but to me she needs no lifting. She is elevated, she is mom goals, she is inspiration! Before I had kids, she was someone I watched and thought ‘I hope I’m like her when I’m a mom’.
I think most of us have women like this in our lives. I don’t mean the accounts that inspire us on social media. I mean the women we know intimately, those we have seen through the struggle of life and still feel inspired by. The moms we watch in awe as they smile through the struggle, the moms who sacrifice for their kids, the moms who are working hard to create open and loving relationships with their kids. As you hold these women up, how many of these women see themselves the same way you do?
Motherhood is so tough that sometimes we are too tough on ourselves. We carry a motherload of guilt, regret and insecurity. This prevents us from seeing ourselves the way others see us, as strong & resilient, kind & caring, generous & beautiful, brave & intentional. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone struggles and everyone has bad days. Most of us are good moms. We are not perfect, we are making mistakes, we could be better, but we are good moms. It left me wondering how this embodiment of awesomeness could feel embarrassed?! But truth be told, I struggle with this motherload as well.
It is hard for me to reconcile any compliments I receive with what I live – so messy and chaotic. I can’t help but think I am undeserving of the praise, or wonder if they would feel the same if they saw me in the depths of my anxiety. Do they see how my shortcomings and insecurities are being repeated in my children? If they really knew, would they still say I am a good mom? I am still working on giving myself the same compassion and grace I give other moms.
Motherhood is tricky, with the expectations of us that are outrageous! We can’t actually have it all, do it all, or be it all as a mom. There have been some good conversations about emotional labor, self care and home/work balance. The more we reevaluate and recalibrate the motherload, the more healthy our entire families will be. We are making progress, but let’s not stop now.
We can’t let those unreasonable expectations or our insecurities prevent us from celebrating ourselves. Do what makes you happy today and don’t overthink it. It’s Mother’s Day, and I for one am planning to celebrate all that make me a mom, the good, the real, the imperfect, the motherload.
Let’s celebrate ourselves and the moms who inspire us! Reach out to the moms who inspire, motivate and support you. Tell them how amazing they are. I know you are busy so I drafted an email for you HERE. Simply change the recipient to this email, modify it to fit your relationship and send someone you know some extra love this Mother’s Day.